The Wizard Named Oz
by Angel Phreak
Summary: Buffy version of The Wizard of Oz. Lame but kinda funny. Please r/r


The Wizard Named Oz   
Disclaimer-All belongs to Joss Whedon and whoever made The Wizard of Oz (movie, not the book)   
Feedback-Or suffer the consequenses   
Flames-Will be hysterically laughed at   
  
I have nothing against any of the Buffy actors. This is a Buffy version of The Wizard of Oz. It is called The Wizard Named Oz but he's really a werewolf (just incase you didn't know)   
  
Willow looked at the gray Kansas plain.   
Willow-Life is piontless. This whole fic is pointless. Why am I doing this?   
When suddenly Uncle Henry was waving his arms like a lunatic and screaming "Twister, twister."   
Willow-Shut up, I'm trying to analyze my pointless life!   
Auntie Em-Willow, get in here *now*!   
Willow went inside the house just before spinning around and around and around in the twister.   
When she woke up, everything was colorful and she left the house.   
Willow-Hello? Is anybody out here?   
"Ding dong the witch is dead, which old witch, the wicked witch!"   
Willow-Oh, God, please no, don't let them-   
Munchkins-La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!   
Willow-GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!   
Munchkins-You killed the witch!   
Willow-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. If it's any conselation, I'm a witch too.   
Munchkins-AFTER HER!!! She's a witch! Get her!   
Willow-Oh, hell, I shouldn't have said that!   
Tara-Munchkins, don't hurt her, she's a good witch like me.   
Willow-Tara? What have they done to you?   
Tara-Willow, I am the good witch Tara.   
Willow-No, no you're not. They've done something horrible to you.   
Tara-I know, my hair looks awful but that's life. Just take the ruby slippers and I'll leave.   
Willow takes the slippers and puts them on her feet.   
Tara-Ah, they go so well with your hair. Not so good for your eyes though. Now I will leave you.   
Willow walks away from the shrimpy people before they can start to sing again and meets a scarecrow who looks like Cordelia.   
Willow-Cordelia? Is that you?   
Cordelia-Yep, that's me, Cordelia the scarecrow.   
Willow-Let me guess, you wish you only had a brain?   
Cordelia-No, I wish I only had some decent clothes, these are horrible!   
Willow-O-kay. I know where this story is going so, uh, why don't you come with me?   
Cordelia-Go with you where?   
Willow-I'm going to the Emerald City so I can, uh, do something.   
Cordelia-So why should I come?   
Willow-They have the biggest mall in the world.   
Cordelia-(smiling) Okay! By the way, those shoes do wonders for you hair. Ugh, but they make your eyes look so ugly and normal.   
Willow-Grrr...   
Before long they met a man made out of cardboard.   
Riley-Hello.   
Willow-Good-bye.   
The girls left him to stand there.   
Riley-Wait! I need your help!   
Willow-What do you want?   
Riley-Those shoes match your hair.   
Willow-Is that all?   
Riley-No, I was wondering if you could take me to the emerald city.   
Willow-That should be capitallized and why?   
Riley-I'm weak.   
Willow-So?   
Cordelia-(giggles)   
Willow-(glares at her) What can *we* do to help?   
Riley-Take me to Oz so I can get strong again.   
Willow-Ah, you want those drugs Professor Whats-her-name gave you!   
Cordelia-I missed something, didn't I?   
Willow-Yeah. Don't worry about it, though. Infact, consider yourself lucky.   
Riley-No, I just want to be able to beat up people again.   
Willow-Well, it's for a bad cause but if it will get you to stop bothering me, okay.   
After a short while the trio met a cowardly vampire named Spike.   
Spike-Excuse me? Cowardly?   
Well, actually, he wasn't cowardly, he was chipped. But he *was* afraid of teletubbies so...   
Spike-I could kill the teletubies with one shot.   
Yeah, well, they still scare you.   
Willow-Hi Spike, it's daylight. Did you know that?   
Spike-Yeah well, it's fiction.   
Willow-Okay, okay. What do you need?   
Spike-I need to go to the Emerald City and wish that I was rid of this chip.   
Willow-Yeah, okay, you can come with us.   
After a while, the reached the Emerald City.   
Cordelia-Hey, we're in the Emerald City.   
Buffy came up to them.   
Buffy-Take these glasses.   
She handed them green glasses.   
Buffy-Now go see Oz!   
Willow-Buffy, is something wrong?   
Buffy-No vampires. I had to get a job telling people to take glasses and go see Oz.   
Willow-Oh. The monotone is a nice touch.   
Willow and Riley and Spike and Cordelia started walking to Oz.   
Willow-Oz! That was so predictible!   
Oz-Hi Willow!   
Willow-Oh no! Oz, you're green!   
Oz-I know, it's because of the glasses.   
Willw and Cordelia and Spike take the glasses off. Riley just stands there.   
Oz-What can I do for you?   
Riley-I want to be stronger!   
Oz-So get another peice of cardboard!   
Cordelia-I want nice clothes!   
Oz-The mall is down the road to the left.   
Cordelia smiles and leaves. Riley finally gets it and follows her in pursuit of more cardboard.   
Spike-I want to get out of this bloody city, wait no, I want you to take this chip out of my head!   
Oz-Sorry, I'm a werewolf, not a brain surgeon.   
Spike-Oh bloody hell!   
Willow-This is a twisted nightmare! Let me out of here.   
Oz-To do that, you need to click you're heels together and say "End this lame fic. End this lame fic."   
Willow-okay.   
Spike-Hey, Red, you know those shoes look great on you. They clash with your eyes, though.   
Willow-grrrrrr...   
Oz-I think they go well with your eyes.   
Willow smiles.   
Willow-End this lame fic. End this lame fic.   
Willow woke up in Sunnydale to find a demon in her room. Buffy was killing it.   
Willow-There's no place like home.   
She went to her computer and logged on to fanfiction.net   
THE END!


End file.
